Joseph E. Johnston to Lydia McLane Johnston, June 25, 1863

[Joseph Eggleston Johnston at Jackson, Mississippi, to Lydia Milligan Sims McLane Johnston at [Columbia, South Carolina?], June 25, 1863,  Box 2, John Warfield Johnston Papers, 1778-1890, David M. Rubenstein Rare Book & Manuscript Library, Duke University. This is my rough transcription. Extra paragraph breaks added for easier reading.]

Jackson, June 25th 1863

My Love,

I have just arrived from Canton, & found note of the 17th the day before that brought me by Mr Lemmon[?].  I grieve to find that you suffer. I have been hoping all this spring that your escape from suffering during the winter would let you be healthy all the summer at least. But I do not doubt that it is the consequence of anxiety for me. But why, beloved, need you be more anxious that you were when we were in Virginia? [T]here was scarcely ever a time when I could have met the enemy in the field with any hope of success. It was only by taking advantage of his blunders that we had a few partial successes.

Grant may make mistakes too. Tho' I have next to no hope of it. In his situation, with his object, he has nothing to do but to stand still in a position in which he can't be attacked.

[B]ut you are fearing that my reputation may suffer. Don't be uneasy on that suffer subject. If I do my best with insufficient means it will soon be understood that those means are insufficient & the judgement which will be passed by the Southern press should Vicksburg fall, be reversed.

[R]emember how this Southern country, condemned me for leaving Harper's Ferry & how it afterwards extolled me for it. I know that the country [believes] that I have a powerful army & could beat Grant. But it [will] learn the truth soon after its . . . [dis]appointment come, as I fear [it] must. But my military position is no worse, personally, than it was during the first fall & winter of the war. To be sure, in Va. there were other troops than mine, [which] gave me hope of making [a] great army of several small [armies] as was afterwards done. There [is] no such hope here. 

But my beloved, one who discharged his duty manfully & unselfishly will always [be] respected, altho' he may not be [thou]ght a great man & spare[?] you . . . to be the object of popular clamour is no wish of mine. The respect of the respectable I do desire; its admiration would be pleasant, too. [B]ut that of the crowd which is measured by success alone, I care for as little as the withered leaves of last autumn. I am serving the country unselfishly & wish it to believe so but care little for any higher estimation.

I hope, darling, that you will be as indifferent, or rather you will be as confident as I in the ultimate justice of the people to those who fought for them. There is no ground for you unhappiness, take my word for it. I have not the slightest for myself but have, of course, for results here which may prolong the war. That is the only apprehension I have in the matter.

[D]o you do so too, sweet Lily, & let your sweet self be well & healthy for my happiness. Show your precious love by believing me in this & acting upon the belief.

Adios mi alma [goodbye my soul]

[Joseph Eggleston Johnston (1807-1891)
Lily = Lydia Milligan Sims McLane Johnston (1822-1887)]

For their help and assistance, many thanks to the staff of the David M. Rubenstein Rare Book & Manuscript Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. For more information about the John Warfield Johnston Papers, here's a link to the guide.     

[Many thanks to William Myers, Mary Davy and Sally Young for their ongoing research collaboration.]