Mary Louisa Mitchell Binckley to John Milton Binckley, July 1859

[Mary Louisa Mitchell (soon Binckley) at Washington City to John Milton Binckley, July 1859].

Night. Dining-room. Father and Melville out in the porch watching rockets, and mother and Sue gone to 4th of July

Washington 

I am only going to write a few words Milton, am afraid to take letter paper of common size as my "gabbling propensities" are stronger than my eyes, and therefore at night need to be held in some restraint. Have one or two little things to say then must stop or you will passing find a blind Mary to grope to the door when she welcomes you home. Ah when will you come home anyhow? Since your last letter of the 19th when you told me you might stay longer than this week, I have given up in despair, did not know there was any Hope left, until I heard to-day that Slocum had a letter from you applying for longer leave of absence. Then the tiny Hope hidden in my heart unfolded its poor little wings and flew away. If I could only know how long it would be, I would try and be resigned.

Next week I am to go to Old Point to stay two or three weeks, and if you would only come before I go! Heavens and earth! (there now, don't lecture,) how can I endure this state of things much longer?

When I thought that this evening I would be listening to you; not sitting here with a miserable pen and wretched piece of paper, a father and Melville chattering about Africa, and the only substitute I have for the missing voice this scrawling over the paper a few unconnected sentences. Scraping and scratching and no satisfaction, at last, especially when I think that I am denied the consolation of knowing that the precious scribble ever reaches the only hand that came to hold it.

Well, I ought not to fuss. There is poor Fannie Hume whose "devoted" is ordered to that sickly African Coast for two years, and I, ungrateful child, only because Milton will be away two months. But I will try and be good now, and not make another complaint. Now see if I do.

Since I last wrote, I think nothing of any consequence has come to pass. We spent a most charming day at the [Virginia] Theological Seminary on Friday. Ordination day. The only sad thing was taking leave of old friends -- some who are going as Missionaries, and others to their American churches.

Grammer has actually left us. I could have cried. Gray and little Townsend ["Phillips Brooks also" -- pencil note], Thompson and all gone, and Melville soon to go.

It does seem as if there were too many good-byes to be said in one short summer. None so hard, though, as that when May closed and June came in to take Milton from us. When in the parlour, I so often wonder how I could have let you leave me, look at myself in amazement when I see myself so quietly about from day to day, and never seem to care that you are gone, when I do not dare think of it, must not now write of it.

I shall not write again until I hear from you, and if I get news in the next five or six days from you which I think warrant my staying at home I shall not go to Old Point. I am you see particularly anxious for a letter.

I must stop. All send warmest love. 

My love to your mother. Good night, dearest Milton. May God bless, guide and keep you is always, the prayer of
Your Mary 

[Virginia Theological Seminary, aka Protestant Episcopal Theological Seminary in Virginia (Alexandria).
Mary Louisa Mitchell/Michel (soon Binckley) (1838-1930)
John Milton Binckley (1821-1878)
Father = Harvey Mitchell/Michel (1799-1866)
Mother = Jane Mary Wood Johnston Mitchell/Michel (1811-1892)
Sue = Sue Henry Mitchell/Michel (1847-1940)
Fannie Hume (1845-1884) married Richard Peach (1833-1900); her father was Charles W. Hume (1814-1863); her mother, Francis "Fannie" Virginia Rawlins Hume
Phillips Brooks (1835-1893)
Melville = Herman Melville (1819-1891), author of Moby-Dick; or, The Whale (1851), "Bartleby, the Scrivener: A Story of Wall Street" (1853)] 

Original manuscript in the John Milton Binckley Papers, 1816-1943. Library of Congress Manuscript Division Washington, D.C. 20540 USA. This is my rough transcription.

Many thanks to William Myers for sending scanned copies of the documents from the Binckley papers, and also to Mary Davy and Sally Young for their assistance.